Saturday, March 27, 2010

Rings Don't Plug Holes

J's wife...she's a late 20's latina... She showed up to an event the other day, my first time seeing her, hell, first time knowing J was even married...Well, she came in 5 minutes late, and we all waited for her to show...I heard a feminine click clack click clack and spun around to see her entrance...she was stacked, but my god...curves, and top heavy, with a big ass, chubby belly, but narrower than the important parts...long straight hair, and those haughty, heartless black orbs where her eyes should have been...took me three seconds to know she was a demanding bitch, a woman that controlled her husband checkbook to wardrobe and rationed his sex on a monthly basis...well, she came in wearing a white over white terrycloth workout shirt and shorts, full make up, precision eye liner, just the right amount of blue under the eyebrows, foundation with some rose powdered on top, all over an angry face...She carried a slim black purse with a spaghetti strap and gold buckle and strutted 4 inch heels. Her legs were pale and long, long. Toenails painted purple on dainty feet. Fingernails two inches long and done up blue with fancy flowers on them, the kind those little Asian women paint for an extra $20, the kind she has to be conscious about, the kind that force her to lay her fingers flat on the keyboard when typing 70 words a minute at some secretarial position where she probably takes the time to put on slutty outfits and flirt with the handsome delivery guy and talk about the other women behind their backs after smiling and thanking them for picking up lunch, the kind she probably gently scratches her boss's balls with.

There she was, camel and open toed, scanning the room for meat worthy of her gaze, a lioness, a bitch, a controlling, cold, cruel bitch, and I knew it in the first three seconds...She looked right into me on her way out, jealous and hungry soulless holes, looked straight back into my eyes in that knowing way of "yes, I'd fuck you if we got the time alone" and flipped a flirt of hair over her shoulder as she passed...made me feel sorry for J...good kid, but that woman will wreck him fast...



  1. There is no woman on earth who would carry a black spaghetti strap purse and wear heels with terry cloth, good grief. It hurts my brain to try and picture it.

  2. yes, seems absurd, all dressed up like this whilst wearing 'exercise' clothes...

  3. Well, there's at least one I know of...


Isn't that messed up? You should totally tell me about it, or agree with its veracity. Or paint a gray in between. I'm just saying. You'll probably put more time and effort into replying than I might have in writing the damn thing.